When all hope is lost

There are times in our life when we are blindsided by an event and we feel paralyzed. We feel as if all hope is lost. A pervasive sense of hopelessness permeates our thoughts and it feels like our world is caving in. How you respond to these feelings determines how quickly you are able to overcome them. Often when we are in the thick of a situation it is hard Learn more…

Why Your New Year’s Resolution Fails

It’s that time of year when most people make goals and decisions to be healthier, wiser, and more disciplined in their life. Have you ever wondered why we choose January 1st to start a new resolution? Humans like to think in logical, sequential order. The beginning of a new year logically makes sense to start a new cycle of change. The older a person becomes the more it’s understood that a new resolution Learn more…

The importance of expressing emotions

One of the many great things about being human is our ability to feel. Our thoughts and emotions help us navigate any situation that we are in. Many people don’t realize how emotions are closely linked to the body. Each emotion has a specific physiological response. Depending on the emotion felt will determine if your body reacts in a healthy or unhealthy way. The natural progression from perception to action is as follows: whatever Learn more…

But, I need closure…

When a chapter in our life ends we like to find closure to help make sense of what has happened. We often experience this particular phenomena when a relationships ends. We try to have one last conversation or interaction with the other person in order to let go. We consider this closure. What happens if that person doesn’t want to speak with you or have a farewell conversation? How do you get closure? Closure Learn more…

Dysfunctional Family Holiday Reunions

For some, the holiday season can be a joyous reunion with family and friends. It is a time when families reconnect and engage in familial traditions and rituals. However, the holidays can be a dreaded time for some families when they remember the strain and historical discord expressed when some family members reunite. If you are dreading your holiday season and are painfully aware of dysfunctional situations that often arise during this festive Learn more…

Overcoming the Holiday Blues

For many of us the holiday season holds nostalgic memories full of laughter, delicious foods and joyous times with family and friends. However, laughter and family and friend connections can fade. The holiday season can often be a dreaded and lonely time for people. There is nothing worse than having a dedicated day full of memories bombard you with loneliness and grief where all you feel you can do is Learn more…

Why am I so angry?

One of the main elements that set us apart from other living creatures is the complexity of our emotions. All emotions are essentially neutral in nature, but we decide if it’s considered a “good or bad” emotion. Experiencing an emotion is a human privilege, but our expression of that emotion is our responsibility. Anger is one of the five basic emotions we feel. Have you ever wondered why, at times, you feel such strong anger? There are certain payoffs we experience Learn more…

Closed Doors

Throughout your life you will experience many situations that simply do not make sense. The person whom you thought was the person of your dreams tells you it’s over. The job that seemed perfect for you was given to someone else. When these events happen it causes you to feel defeated and will feed your own negative self-perception. Closed doors (opportunities) play a vital role in your development. In previous Learn more…

Mediocrity: The dream killer

We all have hopes and dreams but if you don’t guard against mediocrity you will find that your dreams will not come true. Mediocrity is a term that many of us would not use for ourselves. We believe that we are self-evolving and developing in exponential ways. Each person has a different idea of what this word means, but when you analyze all areas of your life you may be Learn more…

Preventing backstabbing friends

We all have seen television shows where there are a group of friends who continually talk about each other and gossip about what was told in secret. When we see these television shows we often root for the underdog or pretend as if we could easily defeat these backstabbing friends in a strong, assertive way. The reality is, you currently have someone in your life who is backstabbing you. Conversely, Learn more…

When it doesn’t make sense

Each life event, from the most influential to the mundane, will affect you. Often you may plan events that are monumental in nature and revel in the excitement and joy that comes with these events. However, what happens when situations transpire that do not make sense? Your life is like a jigsaw puzzle. When you look at the puzzle box you see what the end result will look like. There will be pieces Learn more…

Compromising in dating relationships

The majority of us would like to date or even marry the person of our dreams. You may have an idea of what that person may look like, emotional attributes they possess, as well as how you’d spend your future together. As you progress in your dating journey you will meet many types of people. Some of these romantic interests will be passionate and intense and may eventually break your heart. Conversely, with others, you Learn more…

Emotional Forecasting – How Does My Future Look?

Life is a fluid miasma of change that can often cause us to feel lost, desolate, and hopeless – as if our life will always be this way. Emotional Forecasting is an unhealthy technique in which we often engage without realizing. It consists of us experiencing profound emotions and thinking that this is how we will always feel, or that the situation will always be this way. For example, say Learn more…

Overcoming your season of crisis

All of us, at sometime in our life, will experience a devastating blow. Negative situations in life are going to happen whether we like it or not. The emotions we experience can often paralyze us to such a degree that we simply exist and no longer thrive. This is a season of crisis. Everyone’s version of a season of crisis will be different. Some may deal with a death of a family Learn more…

What’s the lesson?

Life happens. Our perception in a situation determines how we react. Have you ever noticed that the mood you are in usually determines how you react to an event? If you are feeling frustrated your reaction will be frustrated. If you are in a playful mood you will react in a playful manner. Did you realize you can respond in a proactive way instead of a reactive way? The simple definition of Learn more…

Setting healthy boundaries

We’ve all seen those medieval movies where the castle walls defend the townspeople from the invading army. The purpose of the castle walls is to keep the people safe. Many of us don’t realize that, just like those castle walls, setting healthy boundaries keep us safe. A boundary is the demonstration of how we protect ourselves when a situation causes us to feel in danger or disrespected. Boundaries can be set by voicing them Learn more…

Thinking Errors

Throughout our day we often have many reactive, negative interactions. In Psychology we are taught our perception (thought) determines our emotions and our emotions determine how we react. If we have negative thoughts we then experience negative emotions which cause us be reactive and go into a defensive mode. There are fifteen common thinking errors we often use as a template to distort our thoughts during an interaction. Any time Learn more…

Forgiving yourself

When we were growing up we were taught to forgive others. We were told it’s the right thing to do in order to move on with our lives. We often apologize to others and feel better when we know they have forgiven us. What happens when the person who has hurt you is you? There are parts of you that you are going cherish and nurture, while there are areas of Learn more…

Faith versus Fear

We all tend to worry about certain situations in our life. We tell our friends how we are fearful that something is going to happen and it often causes us not to be able to focus on anything else. Did you realize that faith and fear ask us to do the same thing? They both ask us to believe in something that may or may not happen. In which direction do you Learn more…

The importance of expressing emotions

One of the many great things about being human is our ability to feel. Our thoughts and emotions help us navigate any situation that we are in. Many people don’t realize how emotions are closely linked to the body. Each emotion has a specific physiological response. Depending on the emotion felt will determine if your body reacts in a healthy or unhealthy way. The natural progression from perception to action is as follows: whatever Learn more…

You Can’t Reject Me

Rejection is one of the hardest emotions to experience. We all have felt levels of rejection at some time in our life. Negative self-perceptions and beliefs already plague us throughout the day and somehow a stranger is able to make us feel worse about ourselves. I’ve worked with many clients who have shared their experiences in meeting people in person or on mobile dating applications and how they often feel Learn more…

The Three Second Rule

We all strive to make healthy life changes, but often find they are difficult to maintain. One of the biggest changes people attempt in their life is improving their diet and exercise. I find that many of my clients will start a diet right around this time of year and then are frustrated when they gain weight over the holidays. They are then confident they are going to make a Learn more…

Who am I?

The words people speak over you shape your life. Perhaps you have a parent, teacher, or friend who has encouraged you and those words have molded you into the individual you are today. This also works in the reciprocal. People can speak words of discouragement, put negative labels on you or hinder your from reaching your full potential. What you internalize into your life becomes your identity. If you were Learn more…

Getting your life back on track

We all have ideas of our perfect life. the perfect job, partner, income etc. We begin life with grand ideas but years later we don’t recognize the person we’ve become. We find that our sense of self-fulfillment and overall happiness is low and our life feels unbalanced. The good news is, it’s never too late to get your life back on track. Working with many clients over the years they all have their version Learn more…

Too much baggage

Baggage is something we all feel we have at some time in our life. What exactly is baggage? Baggage is an analogy we use to describe elements in our past that we bring into a new situation. It often interferes with our ability to be successful in our new venture. However, most people don’t realize that baggage is not the event that transpired, but the emotions we assign to the event. There Learn more…

Steps for Effective Communication

Effective #communication is something for which we all strive. To be effective, both parties must be aware of how they receive and interpret what the other is saying and doing. I can attempt to help someone, but if my mannerisms are not perceived as helpful then the other person will respond negatively. My feelings are then hurt. We judge others by their actions but we judge ourselves by our intentions. Learn more…

The sky is falling!

We all remember the folktale of Chicken Little who believed that the world was coming to an end. He would run around yelling, “the sky is falling” because an acorn fell and hit him on the head. The moral of this folktale was to show how we can blow things out of proportion and assume the worst-case scenario. This is called catastrophizing. In one of my earlier articles I discussed Learn more…